


I will follow you into the dark

by niocrus



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherly Love, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Late Night Conversations, Quote: I'm with you 'til the end of the line, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 01:34:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16506737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niocrus/pseuds/niocrus
Summary: The final battle is fought, and Dean is tired. Sam is not letting Dean leave without him.





	I will follow you into the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, please let me know what you think in the comments!  
> This fic was inspired by the song I will follow you into the dark - Death cab for cutie.  
> This is my first work and I'm not a native speaker so feel free to point out any mistakes.  
> 

Love of mine, some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark

 

They never really said it out loud, but both of them knew. When the end would inevitably come, it would have to come for both of them at the same time. Otherwise it would not really be the end. ”In the end, it will be okay. And if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Dean had once said when they were kids, and Sammy wouldn’t stop crying.

 

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark

 

Dean knew that he wasn’t going to heaven. That place is not for people like him. But he didn’t think he was going to hell either. They had a fight about it with Sam after everything had went down.  
The bunker was quiet, only Sam’s heavy breathing and stomping breaking the silence when he paced around the table.  
”Aren’t you tired of having this fight? You saving me, me telling you to save yourself, you ignoring me and throwing yourself in the fire? Sam had a line of exhaustion and desperation in his yelling.

”Yeah Sammy, I’m tired.” Dean said defeatedly. His shoulder and back were throbbing with pain, and he wasn’t really thinking. ”And I’m tired of having to pretend that I’m not.” Dean felt he needed to say something more when he saw the expression on Sam’s face: ”I’m not unhappy, just . . . ready for the next chapter.”

Sam’s expression grew even more worried. He had a nervous tint in his voice: ”Next chapter? What does that mean?”

Dean sat down on one of the chairs with a deep sigh. ”It means that the fight is over. My job is done. I’m not saying the end is gonna come tomorrow or next week, but I know when it’s time to clock out. And for me, it’s been coming for a while.”

Sam just looked at Dean with a blank expression for a while, then slowly sat down. ”You’re saying you want to die?” With the word ”die” Sam’s eyes got a shine on them, and his voice quivered. 

Dean looked at Sam like he was six years old again, and had to explain to him that Santa isn’t real. ”I mean I know I’m not going to heaven, I lost that ticket a long time ago. But I don’t think I’m going to hell either. Whatever’s left, well, just sounds peaceful to me. Leaving you is my only regret, but we both know I have to go first. We both know what happens if you die before me. And it’s not like we’ll end up at the same place anyways.” Dean changed his posture a bit, seeming a little uneasy, like he had said more than he meant to.

Sam just looked at Dean incredulously, like he wasn’t quite believing what he was hearing. He shaked his head looking down, and when he lifted his eyes to Dean, he had a determined look in them.  
”First of all, I don’t care about any divine rules that you seem to be so familiar with. When we die, we’ll be going to the same place. And we’ll go there together, because when the end comes, it’ll come for us both. There’s no other way. And don’t you dare die before me, ’cause if you do, i’ll just follow you.”

 

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

 

And finally, it was okay. It wasn’t a day after, or a week after. It was two years after. Two years after the gates to heaven were closed, and hell was sealed off. Two years after Sam and Dean fought their final fight. It was bloody and a lot of good people died. Sam and Dean had also survived, though it was a close call. Dean had taken a big hit for Sam, which had led to a fight between them.

Now they were both tired. They were old in their bodies, and much older in their souls. Both of them almost sixty years old; it was longer either of them had expected to live. With the life they had led, the old wounds were starting to make life hard. The past two years had been the retirement they sometimes had dreamed of: catching up on movies and books, seeing friends, drinking beer on the hill outside the bunker when the night was right. But also: nightmares, panic attacks, pains; old and new. Most of the time it was just the two of them, but that was fine. They had settled into a domestic routine; Dean cooked and tinkered with cars, Sam read books and started writing one of his own. Occasionally they helped some of the younger hunters.

 

 

You and me have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down  
The time for sleep is now  
But it's nothing to cry about  
'Cause we'll hold each other soon  
In the blackest of rooms

 

 

Looking back on his life, Sam was content. His life is filled with pain and sorrow, and too many losses. But there is also joy, happiness, and great love. Maybe, the best thing is indeed the amount of love in his life. He has loved and been loved. He’s had the kind of connection with a another human being that many only dream of. He has traveled, and seen wonders. Not all of them beautiful, but he has seen things.

Dean wasn’t afraid to die. He never has been. He is afraid of death, just not his own. Loneliness however, that he fears. But he knows, with the experience of sixty years, that he will find his brother even in death. In the blackest of rooms, he could see Sam, and find his way.

 

 

If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I'll follow you into the dark


End file.
